Robert White Comedy
‘Hello and welcome to me, Robert White, the only Autistic, gay, dyslexic, cross-lateral, quarter- welsh, webbed-toed, hyper-sensitive, Gluten-intolerant, pseudo-genius, musical comedian there is…. probably!’
‘Hello and welcome to me, Robert White, the only Autistic, gay, dyslexic, cross-lateral, quarter- welsh, webbed-toed, hyper-sensitive, Gluten-intolerant, pseudo-genius, musical comedian there is…. probably!’
New personal message service !
Personal messages, sung or spoken for you !!!!
Robert can provide personal song messages and spoken greetings for birthdays, other occasions or no occasion if required, for friends, family, work colleagues, your local librarian or anyone!
Just email
1. A little bit about what you want to say
2. With some fun facts and info about the person the song is about
3. If you want it clean or if rude words are ok.
4 And state if there is a dated deadline, in the case of birthdays, etc.,
to: robertthomaswhite44@gmail.com.
Each video comes prepared bespoke for you only, at a cost of £45 a time. Once your email has been received, you'll get a payment link before the song is made, and then the video will be sent by WeTransfer or Dropbox to you, after payment.
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Here's some examples:
BIRTHDAY REQUEST:
Thanks Robert. So we’d really like a Happy Birthday to Emma ( sister, sister in law and auntie to us) she will be 52 on Sunday 26th October. She is married to Lee who she’s been with since she was fifteen , she has two adult children Josh and Honor but loves her little dog Henry the most of all . She’s an amazing cook, loves gardening and being together with all of the extended family, the perfect hostess . She loves going to the theatre and to nice restaurants. Emma used to be a hairdresser and is now primarily a lady of leisure and a Yoga teacher - she also does a lot for charity . And as we live in the Home Counties , of course she is part of a book club. So to stop her sounding too much like a saint , she has a wicked sense of humour and I should tell you she likes the finer things in life and is a huge snob ! She spent her summer on a yacht and began referring to the general public as G.Ps
Please feel free to swear /be rude as much as you like !
Hello Robert
Big fan, great videos, hope to see you touring in the north east soon. Can you do me a video for my friend, Mark Larkin, for his birthday. It’s a bit of a stretch as it’s on 06 November but I’ll still take it if you can’t manage it in time. Make it as rude as possible. Sing it or talk as you do. Details about Mark :Claims consultant, lives in Dubai, between jobs (you can say sacked), scouser, likes weight lifting and eating in equal measure. Not gay but does look like a bear. He’s keen to get back to the uk with his family but keeps getting offered more money / job offers to stay in the Middle East. I’m not sure how much more you need. He loves Metallica, looks like a cross between Levi Bellfield and Brian Blessed.
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Thank you, Matthew
Fart Request
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Hello Robert . Please you make a video for Jake. They will be 20 on 3rd November but are you able to do it for 1st of November as we are celebrating then. They love music , go to lots of metal gigs and play drums in a death metal band. They find anything to do with farting hilarious ( they fart a lot too!). They have an unhealthy obsession with cheese and can never have too much! Would make their day if you can include the word cunt in the song, even better if you call them a cunt! Be as rude and sweary as you like, thankyou.
Julia (Jek's mum)
BIRTHDAY REQUEST:
Hi Robert!
I'm after a birthday message for my amazing partner Amy, her birthday is in early October, I hope this isn't too short notice? She's a massive fan of yours, we both are, but she's on another level (like verging on creepy to be honest) Shes going to be 39, she's a dentist, has a huge phobia of farts, gets super freaked out about the idea of inhaling someone's poo particles? I'm a plumber, she takes the piss out of this regularly. I hope this is enough to go on?
All the best,
Alex
SPECIAL MESSAGE: ​
Hi Robert,
My husband Matti is a huge fan of yours. You’re his absolute fave comedian, and he wishes to see your show some day in London. I’d like a belated birthday video for him for his 35th birthday, so even though his birthday was in this September already. I’d like a video in a sense too, that every day is his day, after all, and every day can be special in some way. We got married this spring, and he is the one for me, forever. I just really love him and I know this video will make him so happy. Matti is very hardworking in the IT field. He’s a very loving man, and cooks a lot. But he also has a more quirky and funny side. And he loves animals in general, by the way. And yes we both think we’re autistic on some level, but we don’t have diagnoses for it yet at least. Matti has ADD though - he's both scatterbrained sometimes, and still very witty. Matti is 4 years younger than me, I thought of mentioning it for some reason. He cares quite a lot about his looks, especially how his hairstyle is at any given second – he uses hair wax and carries a comb with him often. We don't have lot of other close friends, yes a few, but we're each other's best friends; a dynamite duo. He’s just the best and kindest guy. <3
Best regards, Jonna
BIRTHDAY REQUEST:
" I wonder if you could help? I'm looking for a birthday video message for my girlfriend. Her name is Jade Hayward and she will be 32 on Wednesday 24th October (we have a party for her on Saturday 20th if it was possible to get it for then??).
Info about her -She is an accountant by trade (an interesting one apparently), Has a long neck like a giraffe (which is a family joke), Comes from Stafford (I know...), thinks she is one of the poshest things to come out of Stafford (Referred to on occasions as Lay Penelope), Dribbles when she sleeps and snores, Cant pronounce her "R"'s, Likes a glass of prosecco or two, And it can contain rude words! Hope you are able to help and that you have enough information here. Thanks, Steve "
ANNIVERSARY REQUEST
"Hi, Could you please do a personalised video message for my husband for our 24th wedding anniversary which is the 22nd September. His name is Julian Maturi, 66yrs. He is originally from Leeds and is a huge Leeds United fan and a member of the Dubai Whites supporters club (we live in Dubai), they're all crazy. Between myself and our 18 year old daughter Lucia (Lu-chee-a, Italian pronunciation) who he adores he claims to be financially rinsed, she plays golf, he's her caddy but gets the sack every week. If there is any more information you require please let me know. Also, we are all making the trip to see you live 26th September at Drury Lane, beyond excited!!! Myself and our daughter are diagnosed adhd (before it was trendy) and yes definitely somewhere on the spectrum too! With best wishes and thanks, Michelle
Over my performing career I have collected a huge amount of 70's to 80's vintage items from tanktops, to shoes, to suits, to coats, to all sorts of accessories, and everything and anything in between. The aim of this shop is to reduce down my sizable collection and pass them on to other vintage lovers. There are many hundreds of items to be added so follow for when new things get put on.
Roberts Life's Work
Book, Coming Soon
